How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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