How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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