the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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