I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
