If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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