i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
