garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
