There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it hurts more in the daytime
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
