I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
