I wish I could punch you in the face.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
