she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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