we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
