In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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