escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
