He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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