I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
did i just pee glitter
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
