her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
