what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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