Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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