I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
