i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
