The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
