Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
