The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Too much gin, very little bucket
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
