....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
