Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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