I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
