Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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