Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You took a bar mat shot.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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