she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
