I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
