do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You made out with two different species that night
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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