You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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