I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
