its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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