i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize