that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
