I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
