Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
