Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
