I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
