I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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