I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
