Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
