This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
