Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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