I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
