what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
