her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
time to smoke my breakfast
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize