Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
