I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
