In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
