this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
