ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
