apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I love you.
Bad choice
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