my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
