So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
