I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
