its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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