When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
